DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!

My daughter-in-law Becca sent me a link to a gross and bizarre video on YouTube of a guy having a HUGE boil on his back lanced and drained.

Why, you may ask, did she send this to me?
 
Who the hell knows?

Not one to be outdone, I snooped around YouTube, looking for something even grosser to send back to her, and of course, I found it, so I win the Gross-Out War.  Still, in looking for that perfect make-you-want-to-vomit image, I came to the realization that an awful lot of people seem to be fascinated by the subject matter.  I mean, some of the "zit" videos had almost a million hits!  Strange. 

I realized as well that most of the people who were suffering from the zit/boil/cyst problem were tatooed. Tattoo on the back.... boil on the back... tattoo on the face.... boil of the face.... tattoo on the wrist.... cyst on the wrist... I began to suspect a cause and effect relationship.

Some of the surgeries were performed by doctors or health professionals in a sterile environment.  (Why they allowed video-taping of the procedure is beyond me).  Most were not.  The  thing that  really astonished me was that  most of the lancings were performed at home by moms, wives or girlfriends who were not nurses and used things like safety pins, Xacto knives, razor blades and needles to perform the surgery.  Most didn't wear gloves or any kind of protective eye-wear.  A few wiped the skin down with antiseptic before opening the wound, but none lavaged or packed the abscess when the "surgery" was over.  Dumb.  Dangerous and dumb.  And of course, the abscesses make a big mess when they erupt. Nothing like having to disinfect the entire house to make you feel you've been useful.


As much as I try to understand the delighted adolescent reaction to anything that pops messily, I don't get the whole surgery-as-social-interaction thing.  Yes, I know that many people don't have health insurance and that most of the folks taped trusted the person with the scalpel, but let me just say one word about that.  MERSA!  Hello!   In fact, let me add a couple of other words as well.  STAPH!  BLOOD POISONING! 


My precious cherubs, should something large, painful and pulsating erupt on your face, run, do not walk, to the emergency room.  Sell something if you have to to pay the bill, but don't let Buffy come at you with a kitchen knife and a roll of paper towels to get rid of it for you. 

Thus endeth the lesson.  You may resume your normal activities.