The Olympics,facial hair and other mysteries

So the Olympics are blessedly (and blissfully) over for another two years.  Sports.  I just don't get the interest in them.  Though I must say, I truly enjoyed the ice dancing and the women's figure skating.  Also the short track speed skating.  Apolo Anton Ohno.  Do they come any cuter?

Or any stronger, braver, or crazier?

I was amazed to hear during the Olympics that his mother abandoned him!  What kind of mother abandons her child?  Well, her loss, really. While I was appalled that some commentators were insensitive enough to ask him about her, I liked his answer. He's 27 years old, he doesn't need a mother, she is not a part of his life, and he doesn't miss her.

GOOD ON YOU, APOLO! You have a great dad, a great talent and a good life. And some really strange facial hair.

Maybe THAT'S why his horrible mother took a powder.  Apolo was BORN with that weird semi-beard and it freaked her out. 

OR... maybe he's a secret member of the Sohma family, and when his mama picked him up, he turned into a rabbit, or a rat or some other extra-zodiacal creature.(yes, to my shame, I read the manga "Fruits Basket".  What can I say?  I like reading things backward), and she wigged out, as so many of the Sohma mamas did.

Which got me to thinking..  how do men take care of facial hair?  Do they just wash it when they wash their faces, or do they shampoo it?  What about conditioner?  Since their faces are covered in hair, does that now make their faces scalp?  Can a guy get dandruff in his beard?  Are they ever tempted to take a curling iron to it? (Cascades of pretty little ringlets- much better than that rat's nest on Brad Pitt's face).

And what about mustaches?  How do they keep from getting food and drink clinging to it all the time?  Do they ever accidentally chew some of it off, and, if so, do they even notice?  Just wondering.  Like you do.

I don't much care for facial hair myself.  It makes me look too butch.