And we domesticated them WHY?

My neighbors, for the most part, are dog owners. I know this for several reasons:

• despite the fact that there is a leash law in this town- a law more honored in the breach than the observance, apparently- dogs stroll across my yard on a daily basis, leaving little gifts in their wake;
• two years ago, a pack of these strolling dogs mauled my cat Rosabelle to death- but they're just sweet, family pets;
• and nightly, I have to listen to them bark.

Dogs barking in the night. The animals are awake all day long, as am I, but do I hear barking in the day time? No, I do not. Dogs are mostly silent during the day. Something about sunset seems to flip a switch in dogs. Let the sun go down, and they are compelled to bark. Arf arf arf. Woof woof woof. Over and over again for hours on end. Why are these dogs barking?

Is it because someone is trespassing on their territory? Maybe, but at 3 am in the morning, not likely.

Is it because someone is in danger, or hurt, and so, like Lassie, they are calling for help? Maybe, but Lassie used to go get people, and THEN bark.

I think dogs bark because they are terminally confused and maybe even afraid of the dark. They are confused and afraid because they have forgotten they are dogs and think they are human children. Arf arf arf woof woof woof may mean "Tell me a story" or "I want a drink of water". I blame their owners for this entirely. Dogs have forgotten they are dogs because dog lovers have forgotten that dogs are dogs. Owners give dogs human names, like Conrad. (Who names a dog Conrad?!) Or Rex. Or Sadie. It must be very confusing to have to answer to a name like that when you are a dog. At least with a name like Spot or Fido, a dog has an inkling that it isn't a four-legged person. Name it Gigi, and all bets are off.

Then, dog lovers dress their dogs in human clothes. They tie bandanas around their necks. They knit them little sweaters. People, dogs do not need sweaters. They are already wearing fur coats. Dogs don't need clothing, and they CERTAINLY don't need clothing that matches what their owners are wearing.

Many dog lovers feed their dogs human food. Some even let them sleep in human beds. Some even let the dog sleep in THEIR human bed.

Some dog lovers take their dogs with them wherever they go. They take the dog in the car with them. They let the dog ride shotgun.

Some people confide in their dogs, pour out their life story like the dog understands. Sadly, many dogs TRY to understand or at least look like they understand. This gives them snaps with their owners, but once Owner has vented, Dog is left with all those emotions to deal with and no frame of reference to do so. No wonder dogs are confused.

Which may be why they bark in the night. Maybe barking is one way of reminding themselves that they are canines. That, and running in packs to kill innocent cats, are probably the only canine activities left to them after thousands of years of domestication. Well, besides licking themselves and marking their territory,

I grew up with dogs and didn't get them then, either. Why are dogs man's best friend? Shouldn't they be best friends with another dog? Being man's best friend just looks like sucking up to me. I get working dogs, but pet dogs are beyond my comprehension. Dogs stink, they are dirty, they bring fleas and ticks into the house, they are difficult to house-break, and they BARK!

Now, cats... cats are wonderful pets. You bring a kitten into the house, take it to the litter box, and IT'S TRAINED! One introduction to the poo-poo box and they've got it. Cats don't form packs, so there probably haven't been many beloved dogs mauled to death by marauding cats that should be on leashes. Cats are never confused by the names they are given. They ignore entirely the names they are given. Unlike dogs, cats never suck up to humans. To cats, humans are merely warm, mobile furniture. Even if cats could bark in the night, they would not. They have an identity. They have dignity. They have no intention of expending energy on any activity that doesn't get them food, sex, or the lavish praise they deserve and demand. Bark in the night, you say? I think not. Shouldn't be asked.

Cats have a lofty disdain for dogs which I share. Cats rule. Dogs drool. AND BARK!!

I am going to close this now with the thought that it is a damn good thing there are no firearnms handy, or my neighbors would be minus one dog. I'd sleep on it, but DOGS ARE BARKING!