And the Oscar goes to.... who the hell cares?

My daughter and I have a friend who goes by the moniker Gryphon. I bring this up because it is Oscar time again, and my daughter puts together Oscar ballots every year for which friends and family members each pony up a dollar. Every year, she creams everybody and keeps all the money. She used to have Oscar parties before she traveled west, which brings me back to Gryph. He has blogged, in part, about her Oscar parties. He has also thrown down the Oscar gauntlet on his blog, Life Among the Natives. I have a link to it on my blog. Go there. Be entertained. Then come back, and look at my picks.

Back already? Damn, you read fast! Anyway, unlike Gryphon, I am not going to choose who SHOULD win. I really haven't seen many of the movies and I am a movie-tech moron. Sound editing- better than unsound editing? Art direction? You, the Van Gogh, go to the left. Cezanne, stay where you are. Animated shorts- aren't those worn by Mickey Mouse? I could go on, but you get the point and are probably getting annoyed as well.

Here are my picks in no particular order. I put an asterisk by the movies/performances I have actually seen.

Supporting Actor- Eddie Murphy; who can say "no" to Donkey?

Animated feature*- Cars

Costume design*- The Devil Wears Prada; Hello! The whole film is about fashion.

Make-up- Pan's Labyrinth (or, as a colleague pronounces it, LAB-EYE-RINTH).

Supporting Actress- Jennifer Hudson

Visual Effects*: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Yo ho, me hearties!

Documentary Feature: An Inconvenient Truth, which documents Al Gore's ineptitude as a presidential candidate and mentions the environment

Art direction: Pan's Labyrinth, which I bet I will have to see in California, as a small market like my little home town will never show it

Live Action Short Film: Binta and the Great Idea- it's the first one in the category which is as good a reason as any to choose it. Oh, wait, they're alphabetical...

Animated Short Film: The Little Matchgirl

Sound mixing*: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest- we pirates must stick together.

Sound editing*: Pirates.of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, and this choice surprises you why?

Documentary short: Two Hands (which are better than none)

Film Editing: The Children of Men (though I suspect women are involved in the process somehow)

Original Score: Pan's Labyrinth

Original Song: "Our Town" from Cars

Cinematography*: The Illusionist. I have also seen The Prestige; too bad these films came out at the same time to knock each other out of the box office, because they are both brilliant and deserve recognition.

Foreign Language Film: Pan's Labyrinth

Leading Actress: Helen Mirren

Adapted Screenplay: Children Of Men

Original Screenplay- Pan's Labyrinth

Leading Actor: Peter O'Toole- I mean, c'mon already; screw that Life Achievement Oscar crap and praise him as he deserves while he is with us

Best Director: Martin Scorsese- see above comments

Best Picture: Letters from Iwo Jima- just so Dirty Harry doesn't blow Marty Scorsese away for winning best director.

Okay, young Gryphon... and Kelly... these are my entirely uninformed picks for this year's Oscars. I would like to thank the Academy for only doing this once a year.