Mama in the Golden State

Of all the things I forgot on this trip… how did I remember Mama?

     We have been in San Diego for one day short of a week, and except for the gorgeous weather and scenery, we might as well be home.  Stand by for the second edition of “The Same Thing Happens Every Time.”

     Mama did very well on the flight out.  She refused a wheelchair, though, and Dave finally got a full-blown taste of Mother in action.  Or, to be completely accurate, inaction.  If her elbows could propel her body forward, she’d be sprinting but her feet only move about half their length with each stride, and she has size 6 feet!  We looked like a Chinese family on parade- Papa in the distant lead, wife ten paces behind, mother 130 paces behind her.  Wife periodically stops for Mama, but Dave stops for no one.  As soon as he has outdistanced us by half a mile, he notices he is alone and slows down… and so does Mama.  Somehow the gaps never seem to close.

     Before we left home, Mama and I both had our eyes examined.  I am now wearing SOFT contacts and I love them.  Instead of wearing glasses all the time and taking them off to read, I wear contacts all the time and only need glasses to read- and simple, cheap-o magnifying glasses at that, the kind you can get for $15 at any drugstore, so if I lose them, no whoop!  On the other hand, Mama’s vision has not changed one jot since her last exam, so she did not need new glasses.  The doctor did inform her, in my presence, that she has macular degeneration but that it had not worsened in the last year.  
Mama asked me to explain what macular degeneration meant.  I explained.  She immediately went into a deep depression and began obsessing about going blind.  It was heart-breaking.  I spent the weeks before we came out here trying to comfort her and reassure her, listening to all the various scenarios of blindness she came up with and feeling genuinely sorry for her.  
I started to get a little suspicious when all of a sudden she could no longer read, she could not see to cut her meat or recognize the food on her plate.  She was walking into walls and bumping into furniture… when it suddenly occurred to me that the doctor had said that her vision HAD NOT CHANGED SINCE HER LAST EXAM.  That was two years ago!  I spoke to the doctor and found out that Mama was first diagnosed with macular degeneration in… wait for it…1994!   Here I was thinking this was news, and bad news, for her and she’s known about the condition for 11 years.  Guess she just forgot.  She may go blind, if she lives to be 90, which I am sure she will, but for the record, she’s no blinder now than she was two years ago.

     Along with going blind, Mama has now decided that she is going deaf as well.  Example:  We get out of the elevator on the parking garage level to go to the car.  As we exit the elevator, I tell her “Go left”.  She goes straight and walks into the wall.  I ask her “What are you doing?”  She says “I can’t see.”  I say, “You can hear, can’t you?  I told you to go left!”  She says “What?  I can’t hear you.”

     Bear in mind that Mama is fighting a nasty cold and so is not feeling 100%.  With that caveat, this is what we have done in San Diego so far.

• We have watched the Western channel.  Every day.  Every hour.  If she falls asleep and I change the channel, she wakes up. Once I turn it back to the Western channel, she falls asleep.  It’s more effective than Sominex.


• We have gone to the grocery store twice.  


• We have gone to K-Mart.  She bought a nightie.  She forgot to pack one.


• We have done one small mall crawl which wore her out completely and had lunch at Ruby’s Diner.  Mama LOVED the strawberry shake, but I am throwing out her doggie bag- which contained her entire lunch from Ruby’s-today.


• We took her out to dinner last night.  I will throw her doggie bag from Black Angus out in a few days.

I ask, ”Mama, want to go to the zoo?  Old Town? The Del? Balboa Park? The beach?  Want to sit on the balcony?”  No, thank you very much.  She spends her days in her room, just like she does at home.  She squirrels treats and junk food in her room just like she does at home.  She sneaks into the kitchen to raid the refrigerator when she thinks we are asleep, and so has no appetite when we are awake.  She sleeps all day and then roams the apartment like a ghost all night.  Maybe this will change when she feels better.  At least she has enjoyed the palms and citrus trees in the complex.  Sigh.
     Dave can entertain her this weekend.
     I’ll stay 10 paces behind… going in the other direction.