Top Ten Really Obnoxious Things... in my opinion

I have spent the morning trying to get an obnoxious fly out of my PT Cruiser. I was doing this while I was running errands, and believe me, it was no fun negotiating the never-ending road construction, heavy traffic, and a pain-in-the-ass bug. I finally succeeded in shooing it out, but the battle got me to thinking about life’s little annoyances. Here are the top ten things I find most obnoxious, in no particular order.

1. A flying insect in the car. Any insect. Any car.

2. People who chew with their mouths open. Chomp, smack, slurp, YUCK.

3. Servers and/or clerks who seem to feel it is beneath their dignity to provide me with service… or courtesy, for that matter. Just TRY to get politely served in this service economy, I defy you.

4. Telemarketers. “Sign up for the don’t call list”, my ass. Thank God for caller ID; at least if you don’t recognize the name or number, you can refuse to answer the phone. Unless you are my husband, who seems to be pathologically incapable of letting a ringing phone go unanswered.

5. Obscene e-mails. This one really pisses me off. Can’t our service providers figure out a way to protect us from these things? I mean, look for the “F” word or something? It seems for every sender I block, three more show up with the exact same message, and frankly, I have never had much interest in “hot, young babes”. Call me weird, but there it is; I’m just not into naked women.

6. Junk snail mail. Why does it cost me 37¢ to mail a one-ounce letter when publishers can ship whole catalogs for the same price? Unsolicited catalogs, I might add, which I must then responsibly recycle or I am the one polluting the planet. PUH-LEEZE!

7. Companies that sell my information to other companies as part of their “Mailing List”. Which is why I get so many unsolicited catalogs. How did the information I provided to them become their property? And if they are going to sell my information, shouldn’t I get part of the profits? At least enough to cover the cost of recycling their crap?

8. Loud bass lines: I like music. I even like loud music. And I like a good bass line- I give it a ten, I can dance to it. However, I do not like it when I am in my pool, 250 feet from the road, and the bass line thumping from an adolescent boy’s car makes waves in the water. Or rattles my bric-a-brac in the house. Call me eccentric, but this annoys me.

9. Badly behaved and/or sassy kids: I have a hard time biting my tongue- and restraining my “swatting” hand- whenever I am subjected to the antics of a brat. All kids misbehave once in awhile, and have their bratty moments; I’m talking about a pattern of unacceptable behavior in a child that goes uncorrected by a responsible adult. I do not appreciate being talked to by a 5 year old like we are peers, or bossed or lectured by someone’s “precocious” little angel. Brats uncorrected do not make pleasant adults. But at least I can tell off an adult without its mother busting my chops. I can think of about a half a dozen brats I know right now that I will enjoy talking to once they are grown. As for now, they just need to be elsewhere.

10. Call waiting. I hate call waiting. I have never subscribed to that service and resent people who do. Why would anyone give people permission to interrupt their phone calls? Don’t they have answering machines? Can’t people call back? When I am talking to someone and they put me on hold to take another call in the midst of our conversation, I hang up on them. Obviously our conversation was not compelling enough to keep them engaged in it, and my time has value. A phone call is an unexpected interruption to begin with- you stop what you are doing to answer the phone. To have an interruption interrupted is just too much.

I’m sure I will think of more obnoxious things in the future. Any of these hit home with you?

Grumping my way to the pool. See ya.