List, list, O list.... remember me
My hubby doesn't get blogging. He thinks it's vanity. He nevers reads my blog or those of his children, so really, we could say anything we wanted to about him with impunity - and yet we don't. A person has to be very circumspect in a blog, even if significant others aren't peeping in, because you never know who is.
Case in point: I had a very pleasant surprise over the holidays. A dear family friend who lives in England left comments on two of my blogs, including the one I wrote about him in 2005 (Dinner with the Nige). I can't tell you how tickled I was that he'd found my blog and that he'd enjoyed what I had written, even though it was written quite some time ago. All the more reason to be circumspect- old blogs never die, they linger in cyberspace.
Someone once said "The Internet is forever". Of course that's not true, but it may be true enough. In fact, that may be the reason I blog in the first place. Forever sounds pretty good to me.
Perhaps because of perilous health in childhood and too-early experiences with death, I have been alive to the certainty of my death since the age of four. I can honestly say that a day never passes where I don't think about death in general and my own in particular. I know that I am temporary and insignificant.
But like all people, I would like to be remembered. I would like ME, the way I really am, remembered. I will never be famous, will never be published, and will never have much of an impact outside my small, parochial sphere of influence.
Yet I feel connected to the whole of creation. I love being alive, and I love this beautiful blue marble I live on. I love people, and music, and words, and birds, and works of art and I want to be remembered for that.
I am funny. I am smart. I am a good woman. I know these are small accomplishments and yet I think they should be memorable. Maybe I am wrong.
I may live to be 100, but I know I could be gone tomorrow. When I am gone, I will really miss this wonderful planet. Is it wrong to want it to miss me in return?
